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This Impact of Divorce Against Children and How to Help

Divorce is often seen as a way out of various household problems. Some people choose divorce to resolve conflicts in the household, but forget that divorce can also have a negative impact on children. Divorce parents can leave scars in the minds of children. In fact, the wounds suffered by children may continue to be carried into adulthood. The impact that may occur on each child can vary depending on the age of the child at the time the parents divorced, the condition of divorce, and the child's personality.

Things to Consider Before Divorce

Divorce can cause children to experience setbacks in their ability to learn and feel unfamiliar with parents when they are adults. Some children whose parents divorced when they were 5 years or younger, do not feel a special bond with their parents, or have uncomfortable feelings when with them. Not only that, children whose parents divorced will generally feel mixed emotions, between shock, sadness, anxiety, anger or confusion. Some children are also more at risk of experiencing problems in socializing. Not infrequently children will feel inferior and jealous of other children who have a whole family.

Help Children Through Difficult Parents

Certainly no couple expects divorce. However, circumstances may force a married couple to pursue divorce. In this condition, not only husband and wife need help, but also their children. If Mother and Father are facing a difficult situation like this, use the following methods to protect your child's feelings:

  • Talk to the child properly

    • Give reasons for divorce calmly, although not all reasons need to be told to the child. Give understanding to children that he will still get love from both parents. If the child is too young to understand this, give a simple understanding, for example Mother and Father must live in different houses so as not to fight constantly.

  • Understand and listen to children's feelings

    • When parents decide to divorce, children can feel confused, some even feel guilty, or feel parents should understand themselves better. Mother and Father must try to put aside the problem at hand, and start listening to your child carefully, then give a specific response to how he feels.

  • Avoid conflict with a partner in front of children

    • Divorce has left scars in a child's heart. So, don't let the pressure he experiences get heavier by arguing or fighting in front of him. Avoid this as much as possible because it can increase stress in children.

  • Don't disturb the child's routine

    • Divorce generally means staying separate. It is recommended to minimize things that can interfere with the child's routine. For example, moving frequently so that children need to move schools.

  • Improve relationships with children

    • The pain will heal through feeling understood and loved. Express the apology to the child for what happened. In addition, as much as possible Mother and Father remained involved in the life of the Little One, so he did not feel lost attention from both parents.
Avoid making mistakes that can worsen the child's condition, such as complaining to the child. Do not make children as intermediaries or messenger, especially as an outlet. This can make a child hate one of the parties. However, divorce will still leave scars, both for children and parents. Do not let the child feel the worse effects of the condition. Mother and Father can use the methods above to help Little through difficult times due to divorce. Don't hesitate to consult a psychologist if Mother, Father, or child needs professional help.

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